I'm a recent transplant to the west coast, learning to love my new home. Coffee, writing, dancing, pondering, reading, laughing...all of these are things I love! I've seen a fair bit in my 27 years, and I'm always looking for the next big thing that will catch my eye...and all the little things that make me smile in the day-to-day.
I set out this morning for a run at Lincoln Park. Lately, on my way out the door I've been playing a little mind game with myself. This mental manipulation is necessary because I tend to get frustrated and talk myself out of things easily. The deal is always "just start out easy, one foot in front of the other, and if you're just not feeling it, it's OK to slow down and walk more." I logged 3.2 miles along the shore of the Sound this morning, and I've been smiling ever since. How could I not be? Crisp, clear blue skies, 45 degrees, sunshine so bright you can almost taste spring lurking around the corner. After snow and icy roads yesterday, today was that much sweeter. I watched ducks splash into the water and grinned to myself when a shaggy dog dashed away from his owner. I laugh so much when I'm having a good run, I have a sneaking suspicion those who pass me want to know what I'm smoking. Seeing as this is Seattle, they're probably wondering if I have any to share! (God, I love this city!) Call it running endorphins, call it high on life, call it whatever you want. What I do know is that one foot in front of another, that permission to just be "OK" if great isn't in today's cards seems to be working. Today's run was one of the strongest yet. I've been running four days a week for almost two months now.
And now to the ponder. A poster on some message boards I frequent mentioned that she's thinking about running the Seattle Rock 'n Roll marathon in June. Ever since she mentioned it, I can't stop thinking about the half marathon that goes along with it. I really want to try it, but a few nagging fears are holding me back. What if I get injured and then have to lay off physical activity for a while? What if I completely bonk and make an ass of myself? Mostly, I think I'm just afraid of failing. I'm afraid of getting bored and quitting again, like I have many times with running over the years. But maybe this is the goal I need to really be a "real" runner. So what do you think, dear readers? I get paid on the 7th, which would be as good a day as any to sign up. I'm just afraid it will be a waste of money. Almost 3 years ago there was a half that I signed up for in Massachusetts that I got a month into training for and quit, so there's that hanging over my head. To sign up, or not to sign up, that is most definitely the question!
It's nights like these that I feel a little old. It's Friday night, I've been home from work for all of thirty minutes. I've been in my PJ's for 29 of those minutes. I'm propped up in my bed, glass of wine by one hand, 2 books and a journal by the other. There are two posts that have been cooking on the back burner for a week now, but instead I've landed on a good old fashioned ramble.
So what makes me feel old? See paragraph one. It's Friday night, and I'm in my pajamas. At 10:30. Shouldn't I be at a bar, whooping it up, stumbling home drunk at 3 a.m. after downing some greasy food in an attempt to sober up? Maybe. And I'm sure had I tried a little harder I could have found a few friends to join me in some intoxicated endeavours. But really, all I wanted was my bed, the glass of wine, some calming music, and a few books to drown out the noise in my head. I could be 85 or 18 tonight, I'm not really sure which. I love my job, but sometimes after a week full of talking heads and political pundits the only thing I want is a little quiet.
I raise my glass of chardonnay in your direction, and leave you with something I came across from one of my favorite authors:
"Geologists may see their years in terms of time, musicians in some echo that dies in air, the poet strains language beyond the bounds of telling, the physicist sees diagrams of force rather than forms, the historian watches himself as one more wave among waves of sea; but to us, who delight in maps, the idea of life inclines to be spatial - we see it moving from point to point, like a river, if we have more feeling for the unexpectedness of nature" - Freya Stark
Here's to the weekend, and to enjoying it, whether you burn the midnight oil or prefer to warm your hands by it!